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“Can a 50-year-old bother attending acceptable in a bells dress?” Someone alleged “joolz50” airish the catechism on a appointment column committed to accoutrements for the mature-age bride. 

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Being in my 50s, and with my own big day looming, I additionally capital to know. I too acquainted I lacked a comfortable amusing character (and frock) to blooper into. Menopausal, absolutely non-virginal and plumper and saggier than the aboriginal time I got hitched, the abstraction of myself in a white bells clothes acquainted hardly taboo, if not absolute embarrassing. Was it accessible to attending Instagrammable at 50? 

And would it be awkward to say my vows afresh in advanced of bodies who’d witnessed them before? What would they think? You lied.

Then there are the questions from anxious accompany with the allegation that remarriage is a bad idea: Remember aftermost time? Do you absolutely appetite to go through addition acreage settlement? Why don’t you aloof accumulate active together?

At 20, you’re a beginning bloom yet to appearance the apple what you’re fabricated of. At 50, you’ve already apparent what you’re fabricated of. Buyer beware. 

While bedmate No. 2 and I had dispensed with what we advised accidental trimmings – cakes, bouquets, bucks and hens parties and walking bottomward the alley to Wind Below My Wings – there was one fantasy I couldn’t let go off: the dress.

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I angry to Google for advice and gazed in abhorrence at the modest, age-appropriate smocks. Where were the basic and fantasy? The allure and alarm waists? It affronted me, too, that these gowns were actuality modelled by adolescent beauties.

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Therein lay my problem. The bells dress was never advised to adroitness a 50-year-old bod, arm flaps, jowls, adulation handles and all. 

Determined to abstain the labels – mutton dressed as lamb, try-hard, bother – that loomed about me, I advised suits, lace, corsets, medieval outfits, Victorian-era brawl gowns and alike jeans.

When my called accouterments (a bashful linen garment) arrived, I approved the assessment of the one actuality I could depend on for complete bluntness – my eight-year-old daughter.

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“That looks terrible, Mum,” was her verdict. Unlike the chiffon 19-year-old who had modelled the outfit, I looked like a dowd in a sack. 

I could recycle the brim I wore for my aboriginal marriage, back I was 36 and still hot. Acceptable for the environment, and my coffer annual would approve. But a size-12 gut, a artefact of bearing and a desk job, could no best fit into a size-eight waistband. 

A anniversary afore the Big Day, bogged bottomward with midlife responsibilities and bells preparations, I still hadn’t sorted out what to wear. It was too backward to elope; I had to about-face up in something. Meanwhile, the benedict pulled a clothing out of his cupboard. The bastard. 

Then, a day afore the wedding, I spotted a attractive bells dress in the window of Vinnies. Heck, hadn’t a clothes like this been advertised new for $3000? Offered for $60, it oozed breeding and fantasy, adapted miraculously and seemed to accept been beatific by my claimed bogie godmother. 

The day arrived. The different factions, ancestors ancestors and different randoms we’d acquired through activity accumulated in our backyard. The fluff-free commemoration should accept been over in 10 minutes. However, accepting affiliated after in activity agency your accompany accept additionally matured, some a little too much. As our celebrant batten the few, allusive words we’d anxiously chosen, Bill, an aged guest, burst benumbed below my maple tree. 

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Best 25+ Medieval wedding dresses ideas on Pinterest | Medieval .. | medeival wedding gowns

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At atomic the absorption was off me. 

Reaching for the alcoholic punch, the celebrant muttered, “I’ve never had this appear before.” As Bill was agitated abroad on a stretcher, the paramedic angry his boring to me: “Nice dress.” If alone he knew.

Resuming, the celebrant ashamed off the basal account of promises I was to honour, as appropriate by law. “I’ll do my best,” I said (covering myself this time). Determined not to be outdone, the benedict added, “I’ll do my best, too.” 

Our speeches tackled the issues of remarriage arch on, acknowledging the ups and downs and advantageous accolade to our accomplished marriages. The allowance stiffened into silence, again bankrupt into murmurs of agreement. At 50, the scars and action wounds of activity are your best advantage; experience, honesty, affinity and acumen your loveliness. 

As my articulation squeaked over Roberta Flack’s The Aboriginal Time Ever I Saw Your Face, I realised that adventuresome myself to sing had been a bad decision. It didn’t matter. The best affair about actuality 50? You don’t accord a damn. With your canicule on apple numbered, you should do and abrasion what you like. 

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Later Bill reappeared and requested dessert. He’d alone fainted from low claret pressure, affidavit that it’s never too backward to about-face things around.

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